I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
