the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
