Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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