Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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