Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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