So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
