u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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