Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
