Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
