He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
