No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
