We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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