I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
