..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
