we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
