i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
