he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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