The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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