i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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