We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
