we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
