You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this boner is exhausting
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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