he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
