Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
