you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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