I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's just like the Real World with babies
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
