he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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