now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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