Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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