I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
