I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
