sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
