Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
