As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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