is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
