I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
