She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I sprained my soul last night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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