She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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