what day is it and did you see me today?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
