I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
