how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Couch. On fire.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
