shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
