i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
