sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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