I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
