i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
