Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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