to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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