id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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