Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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