I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i now understand why vodka
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
