He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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