She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
