Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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