Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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