I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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